Monday, March 7, 2011

In the Beginning...Our story

It has been my experience that a bipolar person does not have to live enslaved by their disorder.  Bipolar disorder symptoms are wide-ranging and quite difficult to understand.  The fact is, however, that those who are unfortunate enough to live with this mood disorder cannot control the spectrum of emotions they feel on their own.  Therapy is fantastic.  Support is wonderful.  Willpower is magnificent.  But, all of that is almost moot for the great majority without the right medication regimen.  And that regimen can be almost like finding diamond in the rough. 
My husband was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder shortly before I discovered I was pregnant with our second child.  I had known for years that he was not the same man who had proposed to me in the very spot that we had had our first date, or called me ‘angel.’  I knew that the sweetheart I had agreed to spend my life with would never do some of the things the man I was living with had done and was doing; all, apparently without concern. 
We did not know until later that his mania had reached a level where he was developing amnesia of hours to weeks of his life.  Putting it as simply as I can, the cause of this little phenomenon was that his brain was being so deprived in some areas because of the strain of the bipolar that other parts (beginning with short term memory, because it isn't needed as much as things like breathing) were beginning to shut down. 
Initially, it was thought that he had only a mild case of bipolar…that is, until I went to the doctor with him and enlightened the folks of the behavior I saw as opposed to the things he could remember.  He was started on anti-depressants and a drug to help him quit his extreme smoking habit.  I thought things couldn’t get worse before, but whoa-buddy was I wrong!  The combination of these two drugs took him from mildly hallucinatory (i.e. shadows shifting) to completely delusional (i.e. developed an alternate, imaginary life with ‘the boys at the boat dock’). 
To be continued...

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